What Would Happen
by Hellen Lou
Summary: Set after Grave Danger... they are trying to deal with it in their own way. Rated T because I don't know.


What would happen

I could always wonder… whisper those words… What Would Happen?

After 'Grave danger' Nick is trying to deal with it all.

Lyrics 'What Would happen' as sung by Meredith Brooks.

* * *

_Electricity, eye to eye  
Hey don't I know you  
I can't speak _

_Stripped my senses  
On the spot  
I've never been defenseless  
I can't even make sense of this  
You speak and I don't hear a word _

I don't know how it started… well that would be a lie. What I mean is I don't know why it happened, I could guess but I never dare mention it.

I was swaying to the music, just enjoying the feel of being free from that woman I was at the lab. I could feel the eyes travel my body as those men longed to use their hands where their eyes had dared to look.

I wouldn't care, I guess some part of me was putting on a show just to prove I was fine, that nothing that happened over the past couple of weeks had affected me. His kidnapping, the burial and the show that had played out before us all as he clung to life and sanity.

The music switches once more and for most dancers they didn't even notice just carrying on their ritual dancing for the masses… attempting to provide themselves with a mate. I didn't need anyone, I had proven that many times over the years I was dancing because I could… I still could.

But I hear the words and I absorb them into my dance, I turn slowly enjoying the feel of the beat making it's way through my every limb. That's when I see them… those eyes that had once upon a time held so much innocent and compassion for the world that I gasp when I see the fear etched into them and the lust.

I was sure it wasn't him, it couldn't be him… despite the words of assurance, I knew that deep within him he was changed something had been left buried that night and it was never coming back. His shock had been his mourning of that one part of him that was still buried.

Moving once more to the music I only jump a little when those familiar arms weave their way around my waist and I'm dragged into a strong chest. I don't need to look or even move away, because I know that I could at any moment but never have to.

I could feel him moving behind me swaying us to a new dance, one that I'm sure we had been plotting for years.

His hands splay across my hips attempting to drag me closer but never succeeding, human touch was the one thing he needed and hated at the same time. It hadn't always been that way but after that night, those long hours pleading for his life to both be saved or ended it had come to be his way of life.

His quick and hot breath against my hair was a message for me to act out something he wouldn't say, so trailing my hands up his strong arms I thread my own fingers through my hair and pull it up and to the side allowing him to press his stubble cheek against my neck using the soft skin there as a comforter.

My hands drift back down his arms straying a little over the muscles that I had watched so many times before.

My hands then take a different route and plant themselves against his thighs enjoying the intake of breath against my neck.

We didn't need words anymore… life was easier that way. His own hands no longer stayed still as one dragged it's way down my black denim skirt and upon reaching skin he dragged it back up stopping only when the skirt refused to lift any further. His other hand played across the bare skin of my stomach his fingers spreading beneath the silk shirt I had worn.

I know to anyone else it was just two people getting lost in the moment, seducing each other but to us it was the moment we became defenceless against each other… against the world.

The need was clear in his touches, his need for human contact that had been missing for too long now and my need to provide and receive just as much human contact as I could.

_What would happen if we kissed  
Would your tongue slip past my lips  
Would you run away, would you stay  
Or would I melt into you  
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust  
Spontaneously combust _

He moved so fast, I knew he listened to the words because even as I spun I knew what was now needed even before his lips crashed down on mine.

I didn't resist the urge to wrap my arms around his neck bringing me flush against him, while his arms attempted to aide me as much as he could.

When his tongue begged entrance I gladly welcomed it, allowing him to take charge… this would be the only place to ever let him do this. This wasn't us and this act we were performing now was proof of that and I was ok with that.

He did stay once he knew I wouldn't run but it was true that he did run, he was running from the man he had presented himself as back at the lab. And the truth was I melted into him years ago, when he was the man he was.

The fire only sped things up between us, the fire that had been left simmering in the past had now exploded and we were nothing but the wood aiding it's path.

The night engulfed us as we left the night club still clinging to the human contact we both craved, and as we tumbled into his bed, hands feverish with the need to explore and set alit every part of our skins, kisses leaving us demanding more we knew that neither one of us were who we pretended to be at the lab.

Those people had been left behind now we were the people who dealt with the things that had crashed into our lives in our own way.

The morning light and the new day sadly brought back the people we pretended to be, the people we had to be.

I left without a word spoken to him despite the fact that I knew he had woken the moment I did.

At the lab no matter how much I tried to keep the real me hidden I couldn't help but wonder what it all meant, what that night had meant to us or if it had changed anything between us.

_The room is spinning out of control  
Act like you didn't notice  
Brushed my hand _

_Forbidden fruit  
Ring on my finger  
You're such a moral, moral man  
You throw it away, no question  
Will I pretend I'm innocent _

I see him through the window as he strolls by, my heart skips and I know that the person I truly am the one I allowed him to see and taste would always be there within me now, every time I woke and every time I stepped into this lab she would be there and I couldn't stop her anymore.

It seemed something wasn't just buried that night within him but something was broken within me that night too, as I watched him suffer.

For the spilt second our eyes meet I know he can't hold back who he was the other night either, I see the fear but the lust too. But he carries on as though nothing happen and I know I should be hurt, I should hate him I can't.

I've seen the real him and I can't hate that part of him… because I would have to hate myself too.

When the break comes for me I stop for a moment at the door to the break room when I find him there, pouring his coffee. Then I spot the rest of the team, and my pretence is back and I can be that woman who didn't show anything to anyone.

As I pour my coffee he stands beside me, watching my every move no doubt trying to use that unspoken language to sense if I was ok but we both discovered that language wasn't as strong here.

He grabs the milk jug and accidentally brush my hand… our language may not be strong but it's still there and so is the fire. No longer just simmering it was a caged animal we had shown freedom to and it was baying for more.

However Grissom enters and his eyes flicker between me and him. Something we couldn't hide, the fire or the need because I saw it in Grissom's eyes. There was no ring on my finger and the ring Grissom had placed around my heart had long ago slipped away.

I tear my eyes away from Grissom and find him there, just looking at the floor. For the most part he was the moral man, gentleman through and through but even I could see that he was trying hard not to glare at the man who was more then a boss to him.

We had broken some unspoken law that night we tumbled together… I was no longer innocent enough for Grissom. And I didn't care.

_What would happen if we kissed  
Would your tongue slip past my lips  
Would you run away, would you stay  
Or would I melt into you  
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust  
Spontaneously combust _

I hide away for the rest of the shift unable to cope with the feelings of lying and pretending anymore.

I had become something of a mixture between the woman I was trying to be at the lab and the woman he had seen the other night.

_I struggle with myself again  
Quickly the walls are crumbling  
Don't know if I can turn away _

I run home to bury the woman from the labs for the night at least and let the real me out. Why I pretend is beyond me now, it has been something I've always done.

But before the real me can take over there was a knock at my door, I wonder if Grissom had come to reclaim something both me and him had thought to belong to him.

Instead I find someone else… the man I had discovered the other night "Nick" the word is a whisper but he hears it and lifts those brown eyes with so much fear and lust in them to me.

But something new lingered there… proof that he had been changed, I saw need in his eyes too. We had changed something that night and neither one of us were going to fix it.

"Sara" His greeting wasn't warm or affectionate like it always was at the lab, it was filled with fear, lust and need. This was the true him, it seemed it was only for me to see.

_What would happen if we kissed  
Would your tongue slip past my lips  
Would you run away, would you stay  
Or would I melt into you  
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust  
Spontaneously combust _

His lips once more crash upon mine, his arms engulfing me and containing our fire while we moved our bodies to our dance.

We tumbled once more, hands and kisses repeated from the other night as we moved in our new dance. The fire blazing so hot that our gasps are swallowed by the heat, our hearts beating as one.

The morning would come, of that I was sure… and as he trailed his fingers along my sweat coated arms I could see the unspoken words playing across his face.

He was broken just like me… just like me he would hide when the morning comes, he would put on an act to prove he wasn't changed.

At the labs we still pretended, pretended to be the people we had to be. But every time I saw him I would know he had stayed with me… my real Nick, he would always stay with me through the night.

Grissom despite claiming to know nothing about human interactions he could see the new fire between us, the need and the lust and when our eyes meet he tried to convince me that Nick was running away… using me to do that.

But after every shift I would melt into Nick, I would tumble just for him and I knew that no matter what had been buried that night what was rescued was something I lust for… something I fear… but most of all something I needed.

There are some nights now after we tumble…once the pretences fall away I wonder what would happen if those pretences were never brought up again, if we never built the walls back up after every time we showed our true selves.

But I know the truth as I search his sleeping face, his face had never been peaceful since that night never in his dreams, we were too broken to ever let those pretences slip away.

But even people as broken as us could wish… could whisper those words.

What Would Happen?…..


End file.
